Spending The Thanksgiving Holiday Without My Mom & Brother!

This Thanksgiving Holiday will be a little different than normal. Because my mother and brother will be spending this holiday in Phoenix, AZ. They are there with other family members enjoying the holiday season. My mother only had two children, which makes my immediate family very small. I was reared most of my life without a father or a male presence in the home. Therefore, for most of my life it has only been my mother, brother and myself. Which means that I have gotten used to spending most if not all holidays with them. I'm sure they will have a great day there in Phoenix with my other extended family. Over the last 5 years more than half of my extended family have moved there. I have an aunt, uncle and many many cousins who now call Phoenix home. I also have my step-grandfather there. I'm told that the dinner will be at his home. I plan to spend the day with someone special as well as visit family members here in LA/Pasadena. Again, I wish the best for my blog readers on this holiday. Share alot of love and remember, do not eat too much! Happy Thanksgiving....

F. Demond

The Will Smith/Jada Pickett Dilema

Recently I assisted someone with what I call the Will Smith/Jada Pickett family dilema. They are description that represent many american families due to the many single family households in america. That is, when two individuals are raising children from a previous relationship. Along with the challenges of the prior seperation or divorce, it brings many other ones with it. I myself have been in this situtation. In many cases like mine, it can work itself out to be something good, but in most cases not so. Most of the time, it causes life changing issues for the adults as well as the children. It is a national statistic that says 66% of children these days are from broken households. What a shock! Which determines that the root of this national crisis is not the innocent children that are involved, but the adults who create these situations. Which means if a solution is available, it is available through we as adults making greater decisions in regards to who we commit to. Sometimes we can establish relationships and lifestyles with the wrong people for the wrong reasons and suffer in the end. Adults can create something comfortable for them at the present and from that a child is produced to a lifetime of disasterous memories. There are not many stories like Will and Jada. Their public persona says that their fairytale marriage is working. That's what we know..... If that is the case with them, it is not with many, many others. Not only is there a difference and tension in the household, but often times it creates tension from others particulary family members. When this happens, it creates space in the relationship with family and friends. Remember, all of this is due to the broken parental relationship of the child. Many cases follow this example. In the particular case that prompted this blog, the woman want the man to be the total man in the household and relationship EXCEPT: as it relates to HER children. He can feed them, pay all the bills, help in the nuturing, be the responsible household protection and party, but not even make a recommendation to or about the children. Without giving my opinion, give me your thoughts concerning this subject in the comment section. If this man is not in no way harming the children, should he assume the role in all ways but with the children? Unfortunately, the Will/Jada dilema does not work for many. But at the same time, how many families are out there that are not ready made as we call it. Families that are, can be healthy but with much maturity, prayer and love.

F. Demond